Jurassic World: New Name, Same Hollywood Bullshit

Jurassic World smashed records and "broke the box office sound barrier" by taking over half a billion dollars in its opening weekend. It has gotten rave reviews from critics and viewers alike, praising the quality of the graphics and hailing it 'one of the films of the year'. What they fail to mention is the poor continuity, inclusion of every Hollywood cliche in the book and Chris Pratt's character swanning around with his clique of velocripators like he's the dog's bollocks. 

It's a film that's funny because it shouldn't be funny. Someone watching the film at the same time as me chuckled audibly when a character is snatched and tossed around like a doll by a pterodactyl, it's that bad. The penultimate scene, in which a T-Rex is ragging the troublesome 'Indominus Rex' around and a little velociraptor chips in every so often, reminded me of The Dark Knight Rises scene when Bane and Batman are squabbling and then Catwoman eventually shows up. But with dinosaurs, not comic book heroes. 

I for one am sick and tired of Hollywood films reusing old techniques. In Jurassic World alone, there's a love story that adds nothing to the storyline other than a distraction from the gigantic dinosaur that's eating people alive, but is somehow still central to the film's narrative. The good ol' siblings-who-don't-normally-like-each-other-but-are-brought-together-by-a-near-death-experience element, of course portrayed through cheesy declarations of emotion and close up shots of teary eyes. Characters crawling through mud which magically disappears when dried. The panning shot of the landscape teamed with orchestral music. The shot that zooms into a characters face as they say something significant, funny or insightful. The endless amounts of unsubtle product placement (Beats headphones, I'm looking at you). 
These are just some of many characteristics on the blockbuster film checklist; this applies to most genres, production companies and directors. If it's a big budget family movie with global appeal, like Jurassic World, chances are it'll be riddled with typical cringe-worthy conventions.

If you're after a quintessentially Spielberg Hollywood film that squeezes as much rehashed conventions into two hours as possible, held together by Chris Pratt's pouting, Jurassic World is the answer. With that said, main character Claire (played by Bryce Dallas Howard) sprints through a jungle in heels as if she's on a run in her local park, and that is something to be admired. That shit ain't easy.

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